Spoiler Alert: Still Not Pregnant

4/12/2016

Our Infertility Journey
I’ve been taking photos of all our negative tests, so that if and when we get a positive one, we can look back and see how far we’ve come and how hard we’ve worked.

Hey-oooooo! Well, folks, there’s still no baby in this belly. WHOMP WHOMP! It’s been about three months since I talked about our fertility struggle and miscarriage and I thought it was time to share an update. One, because a lot of you have been kind enough to ask how we’re doing. Two, because I find it really helpful and interesting to read about other people’s journeys myself and perhaps you feel the same. And three, because I don’t know about you, but I’ve been seeing near-daily pregnancy announcements and maybe some of you, or even just one of you, out there need to see that you’re not the only one staring at a test that looks more like the one above instead. And that it’s OK to be happy for them but sad for yourself, too. We’re all in this together, right? You’re not alone!

For those of you that just like the DIY content, just skip right along! haha This is gonna be a long one.

Since I wrote my last post, we’ve done one failed round of Letrozole (the drug I got pregnant on the first time) and three failed rounds of Clomid (the more common fertility drug).

After I didn’t respond at all to the Letrozole, we had an unbelievably smooth first round of Clomid. I felt almost completely fine on it, unlike most people I’ve talked to. I cried basically around the clock though. Anything from a TV show to a dance video on YouTube to Jeff walking around the corner when I wasn’t expecting it made me SOB… ha! But otherwise, my face just broke out a little and that was it.

All signs were pointing to positive results with our first round of Clomid and I’d say, as a result, this is the round where we most got our hopes up. But a few negative at-home tests and a blood test confirmed that it was a no-go. That was probably the hardest “no” we’ve gotten. C’est la vie!

After that first round, my emotions seemed to stabilize, which I’m sure Jeff was thankful for. 😉 We were right in the middle of our second round of Clomid when Jeff’s grandma passed away, and I wasn’t able to attend the funeral because we had to schedule an IUI for the same weekend. I also ended up seeing a cardiologist after our second round, as I was having some heart fluttering, but have been assured that all is ok for now. Basically, those few weeks just really sucked.

We finished our last “two week wait” period (the two weeks between when I ovulate and when I can take a pregnancy test) last week which, every time, has been absolute torture. Since we’ve now done four rounds of drugs, our doctors have decided that it’s time to up the ante so… bring on the fertility shots! Of course, I have a pesky cyst lingering from the Clomid, so we are in a holding period right now. We can’t start shots until it is gone!

The added layer of challenge as we jump into the next level of things is the doctors are pretty confident that I can not carry multiples (twins, triplets, etc.). Since my body doesn’t properly absorb nutrients, it will be hard enough on me to carry one healthy baby. Of course, with fertility treatments, the risk of multiples is significantly higher. Like 20% high.

That means that we have to start the shots and treatment at a much slower pace than most people do. That’s also why I was kept on such a low dose of Clomid. Is there still a risk? Yes, but we’re trying to minimize it as much as possible. We’re totally terrified but trying to remain positive!

But… it’s been a really tough few months, if I’m being honest. Jeff is doing better than I am. I’m a very driven person and when I set my mind to something, I work my BUTT off to make it happen. So the fact that I can do everything in my power and still not get pregnant has been a lot to take in. Luckily we got good news yesterday after an HSG x-ray that both my fallopian tubes are OPEN are ready to rumble! HAHA! So at least there’s that. (If they were blocked, IVF would be our only option.)

Am I rambling???????? Yes.

If it was up to me and me alone, I probably would have already moved on to the adoption process as it’s really taxing for me to handle the rejection of more negative tests or the stress of more two-week waits. Luckily, I have a slightly more level headed husband who is reminding me that everything is worth trying once and of how rewarding this process has the potential to be. AND! Of the fact that I did get pregnant once, so it’s not impossible.

That said, we have some heavy decisions to make in the coming months. Our insurance doesn’t cover infertility so every appointment we have is completely out of pocket. Yowza. I’d say so far we’ve spent about $7,000. Each round of shots will cost upwards of $1,000 and IVF, should we need/choose to pursue it (we still aren’t sure we will), is about $15-20k a pop. And remember how I can’t have multiples? Now, doesn’t all that sound FUN!?

Since I’m the kind of person that needs to be doing everything I can, I’ve started some initial research into the adoption process and am anxious to start talking to some friends and contacts I have who have been through it. As the days go by, I get more and more excited about the prospect of adoption. Even if I do get pregnant this time, there’s a good chance we will still adopt in the future. And we truly look forward to giving a child (or children!) a loving, good home if and when that day comes.

I know compared to a lot of people fighting this fight, we’re still newbies, but here’s what I’ve learned so far…

1. Sometimes people just don’t know what to say. Here are a few things that aren’t helpful:

“If you just stop thinking about it, you’ll get pregnant.” I liken this to telling someone “If you just stop eating, you’ll lose weight.” It’s a NO DUH kind of solution but also a completely impractical and impossible one.

“You’re so young, you have time.” This one, I understand the reasoning behind. We are very lucky that we have time on our side, and we’re the youngest of everyone I see at the fertility doctor, but it doesn’t make the rejection and stress much easier. Plus we’re watching our equally-young peers pop out babies like damn pez dispensers.

“Be patient.” LOL for obvious reasons, this makes me want to bang my head into a wall repeatedly.

A simple “we’re thinking about you” or “we’re sending baby vibes” is a good way to go. =)

2. Patience is something I need to work on. To completely contradict the above, I am aware that I need to work on my patience levels. I don’t, however, like when anyone else tells me that! #stubborn

3. It really does help to talk about it. I’ve been very glad that I’ve shared openly about the miscarriage and this fertility insanity. It’s been nice to have a support system, have people asking us how we’re doing and to just not be hiding it or ashamed of it. It’s NOTHING to be ashamed of!

4. Fertility forums are the devil. I fall down a rabbit hole of googling every “symptom” I think I have which is a slippery slope. On those forums, you can basically convince yourself you’re pregnant or you’ll never be pregnant all in one thread. It’s bad news.

And that’s where we’re at. TMI much!? Haha! You guys asked for more personal posts so be careful what you wish for!!!! 😉 If any of you are going through something similar, I’m sending you love and hugs and SO many baby vibes. Thanks for letting me share my experience with you! Fingers crossed for some better news SOON!

Dose of reality, over and OUT!

131 comments

  • Jacqueline

    Literally the 2 week waits are the worst! I totally can relate to the feeling of just wanting to call it quits. And then hearing friends talk about their “accidents”, what the heck?!? You can do this!!! lots of baby love to you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Missy

    Sending baby dust!

  • Jessica

    Thanks for sharing! I can only imagine the pain of infertility. I have seen it affect so many friends and I hurt for you all. Please keep sharing! I can’t wait to cheer you on when you get that baby, no matter how he/she ends up in your arms!

  • Kathleen

    I was wondering how it was going for you two. Thinking about you a lot and definitely sending you two ALL the baby vibes!!

  • Ana

    Hi Kelly, I really wish you the best outcome here, but I found weird how you talk about adoption and how YOU WANT 4 kids. Adoption is not about what YOU NEED or what YOU WANT, is about changing a human life and giving him/her a new opportunity to have a happy, healthy life. If that makes you happy too, that’s a win-win, but the kids with no families that already exists are what matter most, not your own selfish desire to bring a mini-me to this sad and imperfect world. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I’m tired seeing how couples spend lots of money to get a child when there are lots of babies and kids growing up in orphanages around the world.

    • Kelly

      Hi Ana! Not harsh at all, I actually really appreciate your response because this it is almost exactly how I have felt about the process.

      I was never able to understand how couples justified tens of thousands of dollars in fertility treatments when there are thousands of babies around the world in need of a home. I did a lot of research into this, actually, when we started the process, as I just couldn’t grasp the concept. Now that we’re in it, I’ve started to see how it comes about a bit. I think once you put even one foot on this fertility treatment road you get so invested in it that the thought of not trying everything once seems like you are just giving up, just throwing that time and all those tears out the window. It’s a very weird mentality to experience for me, since I come from the “but how do people spend THIS MUCH MONEY when they don’t need to!?” standpoint, originally. Every step takes so long, months and thousands have gone by without you even noticing. I’ve been alarmed at how fast it’s happened.

      For me, trying to get pregnant is absolutely selfish. And I’m ok with admitting that, though I’m certainly not proud of it. It’s more my stubborn, headstrong spirit (I want to prove, to myself, that I CAN have a baby) than it is about having biological children.

      I’m VERY excited about the idea of adoption, of giving someone (or several children!) a loving home and better life. I’m going to edit my words to reflect that, as I think my message was a bit jumbled in the way I wrote it. I’m grateful that you pointed it out. The bottom line is, if and when that day comes, our focus will be 100% on them, and we’ll just be the lucky ones who get to be a part of their lives.

      Kelly

      • Les

        i think you should be proud to be selfish that you want to have your own child before you start the adoption process.
        there is NOTHING wrong with that.

        why should anyone feel bad that they want their own child. why should you ever feel bad that you want something this bad!

        yes there are thousands of children that need to be adopted BUT you cannot carry that load on you.
        you are asking for your child that you are willing to love and raise and nurture and care for.
        what other people have done with their kids as far as leaving them behind is not your problem.
        you cannot carry that weight.

        who cares! (and i dont mean that in the i dont care wtf you do with your life way but more in the its not my business to butt in on how and what you do to achieve what you want) about what you need to do or want to do to achieve what you want.

        i HATE to say this because you are trying (and im sending major baby vibes and i pray for you and JEff) but this is the reason abortion should be allowed. look at all the children that need a family because one set of adults couldnt care for them.
        now, someone wants to give you shit for spending money in building your family vs trying to fix what someone else broke.

        im with you guys 100% of the way. i may not be immediate family or friend but whatever you guys choose to do, im supporting you both 1000%

        dont let anyone give you shit just cause youre trying to have your own child. there is nothing wrong with that.
        specially when adoption is part of the plan.

        i dont mean to come of harsh but that whole selfish line….that got to me. and you might handle it better than i because you are a pro but…no.
        never let anyone tell you you are selfish.

        and if they do, wear that shit like a crown.
        this is your life.

        major baby vibes!
        wishing, hoping, praying, looking for four leaf clovers that you get results.
        i hate to sound cliche but everything happens when its meant to happen.
        (and sorry for the cussin.)

      • Heather

        I’m not sure why Ana’s comment struck such a cord with me (maybe it’s my own pregnancy hormones running wild) but I ran across this article and wanted to share. You will be such an amazing parent and I’m so excited to follow you and Jeff on this path!

        http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/stop-telling-infertile-couples-to-just-adopt/

        • Kelly

          Thank you for that article, Heather! It was a very interesting read!

          Kelly

  • Chelsey

    Sending so much love and baby dust to you and Jeff on this journey. Thank you for sharing your story with us. XO

  • Pat newmam

    Kelly what a great way you express yourself on a subject that is so sensitive. You are letting others know they are not alone in this struggle but in a way that is hopefull not foreboding. Bravo for your candor and ?ing for good news real soon.

  • Lauren

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I as well have been struggling with infertility now for 2.5 years and it has been a TOUGH journey. I know on the outside it is so easy to put on that happy face, and even in your words, but I truely understand the pain you are going through inside. The money, the tears, the waiting… I believe that this journey will make us all stronger though and if anything will appreciate the little things in life even more 🙂 Thank you again for sharing this, as you are right, it seems like no one talks about this enough and that it why we feel so alone, so I’m glad to know that other people are struggling the same – and I truely hope that one day we will get to experience what it feels like to have a child and start a family. Sending tons of love your way xoxo

    • Kelly

      I’m sorry to hear you are also going through this Lauren, but I’m glad we’re able to fight this fight together, knowing we’re not alone. I agree that this will definitely, if anything, make us stronger! Sending you baby vibes!!

  • Paula

    I know exactly what your are going through in terms of waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. I have been through one round of IVF and it sucks. Big time. Not only does it cost a lot but it also takes a huge chunk of your heart, emotions, feelings.

    What I have to tell you is what my doctor tells me: You have an uterus. You WILL get preggers. It might take a bit longer than your bff but YOU WILL have a baby.

    Sending you positive baby vibes from Brazil.

    Hang in there cause it WILL happen!

    Xx

    • Kelly

      Thank you for the encouragement, Paula. Sending positive baby vibes right back to you!

  • Kate

    I had an ovarian ectopic and then a year later a tubal ectopic, then later after trying a year with no results discovered my other tube was hydrosalpinx and had to be removed. So I was really relieved to read you had a clear HSg test 🙂 Clomid was rough, I could only do 3 rounds before telling my husband I needed a break. We ended up getting pregnant sans science at the end of the summer while on “break” from treatment (go figure) but in all total it took 4 years to get a viable pregnancy. My only regret is that I didn’t start the whole process sooner so I’m very glad you guys have youth on your side! Anyway I just want to tell you you’re not alone. Its definitely a process, some days are harder than others…I too was ready to move on but for my husband we continued on and I’m so glad we did, having our son has been amazing. Adoption is a great option as well, either way, you guys will be wonderful parents someday. Sending you good vibes and baby dust your way! ✨

    • Kelly

      Thank you, Kate. I am very grateful that we have youth on our side, I can only imagine the added layer of stress a ticking time clock brings. So glad your story has a happy, positive ending!

  • Natasha

    You are AMAZING and SO courageous for sharing!!! I have walked parts of your path and know how long it feels… ALL THE LOVE!!! All of it. XO

  • Kat

    Sending you both strength and every last baby vibe in me x

  • Amy Jo

    Hugs to you! Your journey is very similar to the one my husband and I travelled (miscarriage on our second round of clomid and then no more response to the drug, had to move up to injectables)

    The wonderful thing about starting on a low dose of the injectable medication is that you will likely have no side effects (even the weepy-ness you had on the clomid shouldn’t happen) and we conceived our son on the lowest possible dose ?

    The scheduling is so hard, but you will get through. The adoption counsellor we talked to recommended going through all the fertility treatment you were willing to try first, and then move on to adoption if your heart is still there. Sounds like you are following a good path!!❤️

    • Kelly

      That is so encouraging to hear! I really appreciate you sharing, Amy Jo. Thank you!

  • Jessica Thiessen

    I love your attitude and transparency! You are so flight, infertility is nothing to be ashamed of! Keep on talking and sharing! Baby vibes and prayers galore to you guys.

  • Ekiuwa

    Hi Kelly,

    My husband and I were on birth control (implanon) for two years because we were sure we didn’t want an “opps baby” so we did everything in our power to control our future.

    July 2015 we decided we were ready, so we made an appointment to remove the birth control.

    I was SURE we would get pregnant right away, NOPE.

    We tried for 8 months and I became crazed each month. I felt like it took over me and my spouse. It caused a small wedge between us.People kept telling me to not think about it and just enjoy the moment.

    February 2016 we got a positive test! We were over the moon, to later find out it was a false positive.

    We were bummed. We then realized we were having sex to make a baby and not because we were a husband and wife in love.

    March 2016 I gave up, and said I can’t keep putting my life on hold for this baby, gaining weight because I’m scared to workout due to fear of not getting pregnant.

    Tired of feeling down and depressed and tired of pregnancy being my every thought.

    I told God, the baby will come when it’s time. His timing.

    My aunt told me, “Stop trying to make a baby and just make love to your husband.”

    April 4, 2016 I randomly took a pregnancy test and low and behold I am pregnant.

    Love on your husband and make love.

    • Kelly

      Congratulations on your pregnancy, Ekiuwa!! So exciting. And thank you for the encouragement! =)

  • brittanyMakes

    Aww, thanks for sharing! We are all thinking positively for you and Jeff. We have friends who went through so much as well, from acupuncture to shots to 5 rounds of clomid (both he and she were taking it) before getting pregnant. The rejection is so freakin hard, I cant even imagine. You seem to be a very positive person, just channel that energy as you do. Things will happen. You guys are made to be parents.

    • Kelly

      Thank you Brittany! I’ve heard a lot about acupuncture lately, need to look into that more!

  • Jenna

    Thank you for sharing. I am just starting this…I have been waiting to see a specialist for six months only to find out my doctor’s receptionist never FAXED THE REFFERAL FORM. ??? Best of luck to you! Love yoor healthy, positive approach. It is so comforting to hear from others experiencing infertility.

    • Kelly

      Oh man. BEEN THERE with doctors forgetting to do what they say they’ll do. So frustrating, but sending you so many positive baby vibes!!

  • Brittany

    I stumbled across this blog today and am so glad I did. I too am going through this. Currently on clomid again while saving up for an iui. It’s frustrating & heartbreaking to endure. My hardest part is not being able to give my husband what he wants. Not being able to do the one thing a woman should. It hurts knowing something is wrong with me & that’s why we can’t.

    Just keep your head high, try not to let others stupid comments to hurt.

    Sending baby dust.

    • Kelly

      So sorry to hear you’re going through this too, Brittany. Frustrating and heartbreaking is the perfect description. Sending baby vibes right back at you!

  • Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land

    Oh my sweet friend Kelly! I think it’s so great that you’ve been sharing your struggles with having a baby. I remember when I did my first of two rounds of IVF prior to my chemotherapy starting and it being so foreign and scary – but I wrote about it on my blog and was open about it with friends and family and it felt so much better. It’s such a heartbreaking and frustrating process, especially for women like us who have a goal in mind and in most ways we are able to be high achievers. I am rooting for you guys majorly.

    Our frozen embryos are on ice until I’m able to try and implant – but I am so scared of it not working and only having this chance.

    PS my condolences and love to you and Jeff on the passing of Jeff’s grandmother.

    PPS BABY DUST LIKE RAINBOW GLITTER CONFETTI ALL UP IN YOUR OVARIES!! Thinking of you. xoxo

    • Kelly

      I always appreciate how open you are too, Lyndsay! I know you’ve helped so many people by sharing your story and, you’re right, it feels so much better to talk about it. Always keeping you in my thoughts and thank you for the for the glitter rainbow baby dust! Will be sending it right back to you when you’re ready! 😉

  • Aubry

    I love this, especially the part about “here’s what is NOT helpful to say.” We are about the same age as you guys and have gotten so many of those lines over and over again. They are so frustrating and annoying, as much as they may hold slivers of truth. I know it feels like you are on a roller coaster with no end, but you have a really solid head on your shoulders. It sounds like in the midst of the craziness, there’s a peace there even with all the question marks. Hold on to that peace! You’ve got this. Also, I have felt like acupuncture, massages, and walks in the fresh air have been really helpful with relieving some of the “baby-makin” stress. Something to consider! Take care of YOU, first and foremost! It made a huge difference (aka just conceived — go figure) when I reordered things, putting myself and my own health/happiness first, and baby further down the line. So proud of you guys for sharing your story and for your perseverance!

    • Kelly

      Congratulations, Aubry! I agree, putting myself first is important, even if that’s so hard to do at times. I definitely need to look into acupuncture, too!

  • Jillian Clark

    It took my husband and me 3 years to get pregnant. It was torcher but I’m a firm believer that everything happens when it’s meant too. Before you jump into spending any more money you might consider taking a step back, taking a break from it all, and give it 3 months on your own to see what happens. In the meantime, you should absolutely look into adoption. I wish you and Jeff the best of luck on the journey. You will both be such loving parents!!!

    • Kelly

      I agree on everything happening when it’s meant too! So true. I definitely think we’ll take a break before jumping into anything more invasive than the shots. I hear so many success stories from those breaks! Thankful for the support, Jillian!!

  • Erin

    You guys are AMAZING! And any baby, adopted and / or from your awesome bod, will be so crazy lucky to have you as parents. You are a strong, super and so lovely for sharing.

  • Monica

    Thank you for sharing your journey, my husband and I are at the very beginning of this process + it really helps to not feel alone. Sending you lots + lots of baby vibes! <3

    • Kelly

      You are definitely not alone! Glad we’re able to be in this together (even though I wish neither of us were!). Sending baby vibes back at you! <3

  • Courtney

    YES and YES and YES! I’m going through various fertility nightmares as well, finally getting answers after 1.5 years of negative tests. I feel frustrated/sad/impatient/selfish/etc all the time. Happy for friends but want to cry when birth announcements for 2nd or 3rd kids are made. Want to punch people good-naturedly telling me to just stop thinking about it- ha! And want to punch myself for falling down the occasional fertility chat feed rabbit hole. But it does help knowing I’m not alone, and it helps that this is becoming more of a talked about topic as well. Many thanks to you for opening up and sharing your behind-the-scenes life.

    • Kelly

      Ha, sounds like we want to punch people/ourselves for all the same reasons, Courtney! 😉 Sending you so many baby vibes and glad you are finally getting answers!

  • Moonlight

    Hi Kelly,

    I tend to think like Ana does (the comment you replied to), but I have come to accept the wish of a person to be selfish about the matter. After all, we could ALL spend some money to help another person (or animal), but we choose to spend our money on other things, whether that’s a dinner out, a purse we don’t need, a new phone before the one we have stops working, some new makeup, watch a movie, etc. If you think that there are people out there who don’t have food or access to clean water, that’s all unnecessary waste. But we all do it. So, this is much greater than that, why not be selfish in that?
    Other than that, my friends aunt just had an IVF, at age 50, and recently gave birth to a baby girl. It was not easy, but really, you need to be patient. And put a limit. If it doesn’t happen by , start looking into adoption.
    I love the personal updates on the blog, it’s good feeling that we have to deal with an actual human being behind the studio diy business, every once in a while!
    Hope you have good news to share soon, but until then, let us know of the process!
    Positive vibes all the way from the Mediterranean! xxx

    • Kelly

      Thank you for sharing your perspective, I completely agree with you. Glad you enjoy the personal updates, I’m grateful to have such a supportive community to share them with!

  • Devan

    It’s been two years since my husband and i started our fertility journey. Never in a million years would I have ever thought having a baby would be anything like this. Referring to this time as an “emotional roller coaster” is a complete understatement. Thank you for sharing and best of luck conceiving a healthy little one. xoxo

    • Kelly

      So sorry to hear you’re going through this as well, Devan. Sending fertile vibes your way!

  • Rozlyn

    You are in fact amazing. The Joy you will feel whether it be adoption or your own child to birth will compensate all the tears of heartache you feel today. Joy is stronger then pain. With that said YOU’VE GOT THIS!! (P.s. this is my first time ever commenting on a blog haha!! It’s because you are the kindest blogger i follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Kelly

      Aw thank you so much Rozlyn! It means so much to me to have your support!

  • Allison

    Loved this post and it helped me through a rough time. You hit the nail on the head. Fertility treatment is rouuugh but we are so lucky to have the opportunity and medical advancement available. I have many IVFs attempts and failures behind me and 3 beautiful girls to show for it. Hang in there. It is all worth it. No matter how you get your family here through Fertilty or adoption, you and Jeff will make phenomenal parents. It will happen.

    • Kelly

      Thank you Allison, I appreciate you sharing your story! So glad to hear of your success and agree that we are so lucky to have these opportunities available for us!

  • Jen

    I’ll be thinking good baby thoughts for you guys!

    If/when you decided to go down the adoption route, let me know. I have a couple of friends who are resource parents (the new term for foster parents) in LA. They are doing the foster to adopt path and one of my friends has been matched with a little girl and her brother. They are doing great so far and are working toward adoption with their kids now.

    • Kelly

      Thank you so much Jen, I would love to talk with them down the road! How amazing what they are doing.

  • Maria

    Thinking about you and sending my best!! You guys are amazing and will be the BEST parents!

  • Macy

    THANK YOU for sharing these hardships and stories of real life with your readers. I have been contemplating sharing our journey on my blog but haven’t decided what I am going to do. We unfortunately need to wait to start trying right now because of a illness my husband has. The wait to speak with specialists and geneticists is so long and it’s so expensive. We are also leaning towards adoption no matter what, but still don’t want to give up on the chance of having a healthy baby. Sending baby vibes, prayers and cheers your way!

    • Kelly

      It has really helped me to share my story here, but every person is different. You have to do what feels right for you! You and your husband are in my thoughts, sending good and healthy vibes for whatever path you take to parenthood.

  • Emily

    Kelly

    It’s great you’re sharing the journey and I have also been thinking of you, so thanks for the update.

    I also did 4 rounds of Clomid without success before moving on to injectables. Thankfully for me they were the ticket and I fell pregnant with my now 3 yo on my first cycle. When we wanted to try for a sibling my specialist put me straight back on the same course of injectables and I fell pregnant first cycle too. After the heartache we were so lucky. Hoping the new drugs do the trick for you too. Sending love from Australia

  • Amy

    Thank you so much for posting about this! I have PCOS and Endometriosis and have chronic pain because of it, we have been trying for a year, six months of which have been on Chlomid and no luck at all. Plus every time I get a period it’s crippling pain, a week off work and just another thing to remind me that I ain’t pregnant!
    It’s so hard when you feel like no one understands, you see the pity in your friends and parents faces and know they want to help but can’t! Plus everyone and their dog seems to be getting pregnant lately!
    I keep thinking in the back of my mind that it will happen, it’s going to happen eventually, but the waiting is hard and it is so easy to fall in to a depressive state over it.
    Your story made me cry for you and for myself, I am sending all good vibes your way.

    Xx

    Ps: if one more person tells me to stop stressing/thinking about it and it will happen I am going to tackle them to the ground and rub their face in the dirt!

    • Kelly

      Oh Amy, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through! BUT that thought in the back of your mind that it WILL happen is so important and exactly the thought to hold on to. Even though the waiting (and constant pregnancy announcements) is absolute torture.

      And I fully support the tackling-them-to-the-ground plan. 😉 Sending lots of fertile vibes your way!

  • Kristina B

    While I have NO kind of experience in this arena – I am the exact opposite because I want exactly ZERO kids – I can sympathize with people saying the complete WRONG and inappropriate thing all the time. I can’t tell you how many people have said to that we’ll change our mind or “you’re still young!” as if I’m too young to know what I want for my life and future? And my favorite is when these comments COME FROM MEN. That really chaps my ass. Even now, I am really holding back the vitriol bubbling to the surface remembering all the things people have said.
    Even though you are putting yourself out there in this post with an open comments section IT IS NOT ANYONE’S OPINION OR DECISION that matters but yours and Jeff’s what is best for your body, your future, and what you want out of life.
    So, get it girl. You can have whatever you want. StudioDIY proves that. xoxo

    • Kelly

      It really is amazing how people will just insert their opinions on you because “you’re young”, isn’t it!? Whether it’s about wanting kids, not wanting kids, getting married, running a business.. anything! I find it so condescending. Anyway, I always appreciate your support! Thank you for being awesome!

  • Rachel | The Crafted Life

    Oh girl I am just rooting for you and Jeff! You kick ass at everything you do, so I know that motherhood will be no different. Hang in there sweet friend! Sending all the love and baby vibes your way! xo

  • daphne

    Sending positive baby vibes your way! My husband and I went through infertility treatments, 2 surgeries and 6 years before we had our miracle daughter. She is now 2 and a half and we are starting the whole process over to try for another one so I know how difficult it can be. Anyone that hasnt been through it can never understand what you are going through, it consumes you. I’m sorry that you have to go through this but everything will end up working out and when it’s all over you will look back and be grateful for the things you went through to have that baby, you will appreciate your child so much more.

    • Kelly

      It is SO consuming, but how wonderful to hear you have a sweet little girl now! Sending you good thoughts and vibes as you start this process again. Thank you so much for your support!

  • Bonnie

    Oh, I love this post and I love that you care to share this intimate part of your life! Sending all the positive baby vibes and prayers your way!!
    In response to the above comment about adoption vs. fertility treatments, I have to say that your response (Kelly) was every mature and levelheaded 🙂 but I have a different perspective. I consider myself a religious person and LOVE adoption and motherhood in general. I am a mom of a big family and can say with all honesty that there is NOTHING selfish about being a mother in any capacity. No, it is NOT selfish to want to be a biological mother- it is the exact opposite! I have a very strong belief system that every baby that comes to earth existed as a spirit before being born. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to people who aren’t religious but regardless of what you believe, motherhood is always a sacrifice. There’s nothing wrong with bringing a baby into the world biologically just like there’s nothing wrong with adoption. Neither is greater than the other for they both require an impossible amount of love, devotion, self-sacrifice and service. And they will also both pay off a hundred fold! No matter how a child comes into your family, you will raise a strong, capable upstanding member of society and that deserves all the accolades! You will make an amazing mother, no matter how long it takes. Love and hugs to you!!

    • Kelly

      Thank you for sharing your perspective, Bonnie! I really appreciate it, and your support! We are excited to be parents, no matter how long it takes or in what way we make it happen! =)

  • Calebs Girl

    Hiya! Stumbled on your page from your Instagram…just wanted to encourage you and wish you all the happiness in the world! By adoption or natural birth…Hope your future child will brings you and your loved one so much joy…X

  • Marina

    Kelly –

    I cannot thank you enough for sharing this! My husband and I were trying to get pregnant for 18 months before being diagnosed with the dreaded word: infertility. It’s been such an emotional roller coaster – well meaning people saying all of the wrong things, cute “we’re pregnant announcements” all over insta/fb/etc, and endless baby showers. Don’t get me wrong, I am so so very happy for all of those lucky mamas but it does hurt a little bit that it’s not our turn to have a child.

    I say we should start a movement for all of us who can’t yet be part of mama’s days out – a place for new friendships + positive talk + wine. Infertility is hard but it would be so much easier if it was something that was talked about in the same way as pregnancy is discussed.

    Wishing you and Jeff the very best during this journey. Cannot WAIT to see y’alls awesome pregnancy announcement in the near future. All of my fingers and toes are crossed.

    • Kelly

      I know exactly how you feel, Marina. And I love your idea of starting a movement where discussing the trials of us future-mamas is as commonly talked about as pregnancies are. I’m grateful to be able to start the conversation here, at the very least!

  • Amelia

    Regardless of how this baby comes into your lives, I wish you both all the best. I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster you’re on, and I hope you both find a happy resolution soon.

    *sprinkles baby dust*

  • Mary Buck

    Oh Kelly. I feel like the fertility thing is the struggle of our generation. Nearly all of my group of friends has had some degree of difficulty. I’ve definitely learned not to even ask anyone about kids anymore & cringe when I hear others ask… even though I know the intention is good. Sending MAJOR BABY VIBES your way, doll.

    • Kelly

      It really does seem to be more and more common. Hopefully, if nothing else, that allows everyone who’s going through it to not feel so alone. Thank you so much for the baby vibes!

  • Sarah

    Hey sister,
    I’ve been following along for DIY content for some time and was thrilled to see this today. I had no idea about your health struggles and I so, so appreciate you sharing this. I can relate- I’m 35 and have Cystic Fibrosis (CF). My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months and have just started a fertility plan. Until recently women with CF didn’t live long enough to become mothers and those that did weren’t healthy enough. I am lucky enough to be in the small number of women who are both of those things. But there’s not much research on CF and pregnancy and no one is really sure how it affects getting pregnant. So,I can relate, the unknown health stuff is so hard. I have a few resources and drs. I’ve found super helpful here in LA. Let me know if you ever want to chat, I’d love a friend who is not just dealing with baby stuff but unknown health stuff too.

    I’m sending healthy vibes for you and healthy baby vibes for you and Jeff!!

  • Evelyn

    I wish you all the best in your journey, and send you great vibes. There is nothing worse than not being able to do something you know you are built to do.

    But I want to address some other commenters use of “your own child” versus “adopted child”. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they mean biological vs adopted, but their designation of one child being yours and the other not gives the sense of one somehow being inferior and that is hurtful. Any child brought into your home whether by you giving birth to them with your own body or by you finding them fully formed already in the great wide world will be yours and I know you will love them unconditionally. It’s almost impossible not to. Children are inherently loveable.

    My only advice is to not get so caught up in being stubborn and winning out over your own body that you forget the ultimate goal of having a family filled with love!

    Good luck with everything! Baby dust and all the good vibes!

    • Kelly

      I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, Evelyn. The world of adoption is so new to me, and I really love hearing everyones perspectives and advice. You brought up a great point and one that everyone, and myself, should keep in mind. Thank you for the support and for bringing a very important point to our attention!

  • [email protected]

    8 years of infertility treatments, 13 IVF procedures, and lots of lots of blood, sweat and tears later, we have a family of 4. me, my hubby, and 2 adopted children who complete us.

    those 8 years feel like 8 minutes when i look at my kids.

    spoiler alert: when you get your baby(ies), no matter how you get your baby(ies). you will be in an indescribable place that lifts you so high everything else below looks like tiny pieces of fine glitter.

    i promise. XO

    • Kelly

      Goodness, Lisa. What a journey you’ve had… but how wonderful that you now have two sweet children! I know it will all be worth it in the end, no matter what path we take. Thank you for your support!

  • Kim

    I read this post and I could cry for you just knowing exactly where you’re coming from. I’m four years ahead of you and just had my miracle baby two weeks ago! My tubes were sealed and after a very long and costly journey we reached our breaking point and decided our very last and worst quality embryo would be the closing last ditch effort attempt and we would put an end to the madness calling it quits. Surprisingly enough it worked. It was my least confident round with the worst odds and it was a success surprising me beyond belief. I just hope you don’t lose hope and something about doing all you can helps you walk away from infertility treatments more accepting of whatever outcome (at least for me it did). I felt anxiety if I wasn’t giving it my all so that I could tell myself I had done all I could. For those who throw out adoption as the cheaper and selfless act, try adopting! It’s NOT cheap, not guaranteed and this can take longer than infertility treatments so try to be sensitive to those just wanting a baby to love. They have the best of intentions.

    • Kelly

      Congratulations Kim!! What an unbelievable story. It means so much to me to hear everyone’s stories, thank you for sharing yours!

  • carol

    First of all, I have the hardest time accepting how POSITIVE you sound though all of this! Kudos to you because I would be a sobbing mess and my keyboard would malfunction due to copious snot sticking the keys together. My post would probably read “jjjjjjjdnd jdkdjjjjjjj. Djciidoqndiosnduidje” or something similar. I mean, I’m irresponsible and my tax status is single and I’m nowhere near kids, but still. You’re a wonder.

    Second, I can’t help but think all of the comments about being selfish for not adopting are a product of the Internet. I’m not saying I don’t understand what these people are trying to say, I’m saying I don’t think they’d say the same thing to their sad and struggling sister over brunch. Instead of a lecture you’d get a hug, and maybe a mention of adoption but certainly not a you’re-so-selfish jab. These are comments driven by a pretty impersonal platform that doesn’t require we be civil or understanding. There’s a lack of empathy that’s a little troubling and unfair for someone who is being so honest and open with their struggle. So, hugs.

    And before anyone Internet-yells at me, I GET IT. Adoption is a selfless act that deserves consideration. But as one commenter said, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to carry the weight of that. If you did, we all would, and we’d all adopt kids instead of going to college, probably before we threw ourselves beautiful weddings or had an artisan bagel for breakfast. Great, now I feel guilty.

    But all that aside, I’m wishing you the very best of luck, no matter how it may come. Pregnancy, adoption, a mix of the two, either way all the best. You guys got this.

    Baby dust!

    xo

    • Kelly

      Thank you for your support, Carol! If there’s one thing I’ve heard, it’s that positivity is the key in this journey. So I’m trying my best! Though there have definitely been many tear/snot filled moments. 😉 I truly appreciate having people like yourself supporting me!

  • rooney

    thanks for the honesty. it IS nice to see a change of pace from all the pregnancy announcements. I’m in the same boat and sending hugs. it is so hard!!

    • Kelly

      Thank you Rooney, sending good vibes right back at you!! We’re in this together!

  • Erin Maree

    Hang in there!
    Just wondering do you know of any cases similar to yours that have become pregnant? It might be worthwhile to look at those cases and find out what worked for them, I know the chances of you finding any cases similar to yours is slim but hey that’s why you have the internet!
    I met this amazing lady who had gone through multiple IVF rounds hadn’t gotten pregnant so she left her job as a lawyer and opened up her own café/gift shop and got pregnant straight away (because she just needed a change and being a lawyer is tough work). She said she hated all those stories before she got pregnant but she thinks it was combination of having a less stressful job but also having something to focus on that she loved. Pretty much keep doing what you’re doing but maybe take some extra holidays here and there (because you have earned it!) and just breathe more. I am a big believer in cake for breakfast and just taking some me time here and there.
    Adoption is awesome but its also hard and can take many years there are no quick fixes when you are trying to have kids which sucks. Some family friends adopted a little boy a couple of years ago (they already had 2 boys) and it took them many years to adopt him, it was totally worth it but hard. He was 4 when they adopted him and only now at 6 is he finally settling in to the family.
    On the bright side you had a miscarriage which means you can get pregnant and you will get pregnant again.
    I love how you are being so honest in this journey, praying for you and Jeff and looking forward to your adorable pregnancy announcement in the near future <3

    • Kelly

      Great question! I’ve found a couple success stories of people who have had post-gastrectomy pregnancies. Though since gastrectomies are not often performed on children or women of child-bearing age, there isn’t a ton of information! I’m grateful to hear of the few that are out there though. Gives me hope!

      I completely agree that taking some me time/time to relax is key in this crazy journey. Thank you for your support!!

  • Molly

    I can’t even begin to imagine what you two are going through. Praying for you and sending some serious baby vibes your way! And I love the personal posts… Keep ’em coming! 🙂

  • Celia yarwood

    Good luck! I highly recommend you read a book called Womancode. 🙂

  • Aurore

    Thank you SO much for sharing your Story. It’s so comforting to heard, that someone is living the same hard stuffs than me (“You’re so young, you have time.” -> if I would have recieved 1 Dollar each time, I could bearly afford an IVF / “Plus we’re watching our equally-young peers pop out babies like damn pez dispensers.” -> only last week 2 friends. I could die.) and YES infertility Forum are DEVIL.
    I’m stay finger crossed for you (and for US ahah). WE will make it. And I can’t wait to see your beautiful babies!!!
    Thank you so so so much, you’re a Blessing for my day!
    xoxo

  • Caitlin

    Ah! You are amazing for sharing this, thank you for your candidness. Life’s not always perfect and I think people (purposely) forget to share the imperfections in their lives on social media – kuddos to you for being brave enough to not be one of them.

    This was so informative and helpful to read. I’ve been told by my doctors for a couple years now that when I do try to get pregnant (I’m almost 30 but my husband and I aren’t quite ready to start trying yet – still newlyweds) it will be quite difficult due to my polycystic ovarian syndrome. I’ve always been on the fence about having my own kids, not because I’m especially an advocate for adoption (although I think it’s beautiful and is what I’d prefer to do) but because I think I’ll be a nervous wreck of a pregnant woman and the whole process just, frankly, scares the shiz out of me. You sharing your experience helped me see what I’ll likely be up against once/if we do start this process and has me seriously questioning if I’d be strong enough to handle it. I’ll have to have my husband read this post, too, so that he can see the struggle it really is for us *not-so-fertile* women to whip these babies up from scratch. He’s so blindly positive that it will happen with treatments/meds but I don’t think he fully understands what those treatments and meds involve. So thank you again for being honest about this process and not sugarcoating your story.

    Wishing you the very best in your journey and that it ends in infinite joy and happiness – whether in the form of a bundle from your womb or from another’s. If you want to be a mother (which it clearly sounds like you do) then you will be. And you’ll be an awesome one. Good luck.

    • Kelly

      I’m so glad I could shed some light on what fertility treatments look like, Caitlin. I think what has helped Jeff and I the most is setting out a clear cut plan BEFORE starting down this road. Setting “deadlines” so to speak, so that we don’t get wrapped up in the heartache and are suddenly years down the road without even noticing. We know that we’re on the same page, for the most part, and that’s very comforting.

      Luckily, there are so many options out there for growing a family that we will all be able to make it happen, someway some how! Thank you for your support, and wishing you all the best!

  • Holly Cagney

    I read about people who feel compelled to donate organs in a person’s time of need, and I would love to do the same. So, if you need the use of someone else’s ovaries, I would donate said use to you.

    I was adopted by my parents so I think adoption is also a lovely option if you choose that path. However, as someone who was adopted, it irks me that no one ever jumps on the back of the woman who is able to pop out a child at the snap of their fingers. They only tell people who are having some trouble that they should adopt. It’s not fair that, because you have to try harder than others, that it’s suddenly on your shoulders to save ALL the kids. Your path and every child’s path is their own. And just because you adopt a child, doesn’t mean you’re even saving it. poverty is not the only affliction in the world. My sister has a very rough time after our adoption.

    It’s a slippery slope when a person tells another they should stop being selfish and adopt. Why adopt a child overseas? There are starving kids right here. Why not adopt an older child in need? Everyone goes for the babies. And why you’re at it, you should be adopting a special needs child, for sure. Puleeze!

    I can say as both an adopted child and someone who has given birth to a child that you need the child, and the child needs you. So in many ways you’re saving each other…and that’s a beautiful thing.

    • Kelly

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on adoption Holly! It is so great to hear from someone who has been a part of both paths in one way or another. I love your words of “In many ways you’re saving each other”, such a beautiful statement! Really appreciate your support!

  • Lianne

    Hello,

    Sorry to hear about the crap time you’re having. I think sharing your story is great. It does help knowing that you’re not alone when struggling.

    I feel a bit of an imposter on the “can’t have babies” topic. We have a beautiful 5 year old daughter and, because we’re very sensible, we waited to have another. Since then, my husband, who has diabetes, and with it, lots of nerve issue, has developed an issue with “down there”. Basically instead of coming out it goes into his urine. So we’re having a hard time of it. To top it off, he’s had several complications regarding his diabetes, one of which being a foot ulcer that resulted in him needing to have his toes amputated. And now, due to not healing very well, he’s now waiting to have his leg amputated. So the baby thing is another stress on top of a few already pretty big stresses.
    We’re been to the gp, who assured us it was a straight forward problem, he prescribed some decongestion tablets (I don’t know the science behind it) but they didn’t work. Now I don’t want to pressure the hubby into going back, as he already has a lot on his mind, but I ain’t getting any younger!
    Don’t get me wrong, I am super grateful to have my daughter, I just always thought that having another kid or not would be my choice. The most annoying thing I’ve found is that our problems, which seem massive to us, mean very little to everyone else. No one seems to take it seriously.

    Anywho, I’ve moaned enough now. I wish you luck on your journey. I hope it all works out for you! X

    • Kelly

      Lianne, I’m so sorry for the struggles you are facing. I can only imagine how tough it is to want a child on top of facing the setbacks your husband is facing. I agree, that it is a weird feeling when your problems seem so big to you and so little to everyone else but please know that I am thinking about you and sending you every good vibe I have. I’m so grateful we are able to share our stories here, together. Wishing you all the best!

  • Christie

    I am feeling this so hard! My husband and I are currently going through a somewhat similar situation. I have a rare genetic disorder that we don’t want to pass on to our child, and that would make it pretty scary for me to carry a baby myself. As a result (and after several years of careful thought, weighing our options), we’ve just embarked on the IVF process via gestational surrogacy (I am incredibly fortunate that my sister has volunteered to carry our baby).

    The entire process has been a tremendous lesson in patience. Like you, I am a control freak and just want to G.S.D (Get S*&! Done), but I’ve had to learn to let go and just take everything one day at a time. So much of the process is out of my control, and so much of it involves waiting.

    I’m still grieving the loss of the romantic process that most couples get to experience when having a baby. I won’t surprise my husband with a positive pregnancy test and “World’s Best Dad” mug. I won’t get to feel my baby growing and moving inside my body. However, mixed in with the sadness is the joy in knowing that this process has brought me and my husband closer together. And at the end of all of it, if we aren’t lucky enough to have a biological child, we will adopt.

    I’m sending you loads of baby dust. Now toss it in the air over your head and spin around under it.

    • Kelly

      What a journey you’ve been on, Christie. And how amazing that your sister has volunteered to carry your baby. I totally relate, already, to the loss of the romantic process of having a baby that you mentioned. It’s very hard to accept. I’ll be sending all my good thoughts to you and your family! Thank you for sharing your story with me!

  • Linda Godstrey

    I know what your going through when I was trying to get pregnant with my first it seemed like every person around me was pregnant. It was such a hard time and a lot of crying. Now when I look back I wished my husband and I went on a lot more adventures when we where trying, instead of being obsessed with it. I’m sure your not like that. We had a baby girl now 22. When we tried for are second it was the same story but for some reason I got really depressed and I feel like I missed special moments in my daughters life because of that. Sick of trying and always wanting too, we adopted a baby boy from South Korea, he was 7months old when we got him. I liked being pregnant, but when you adopt everyone was just as excised if not more. Danny is a senior in high school. My husband and I feel that there is no different in our love for the children. I wouldn’t have change a thing in my life.

    Sorry you have to go through but you will appreciate the miracle so much more because of the struggle.

    • Kelly

      It is so great to hear from someone who has had both a biological child and adopted as well, thank you so much for sharing Linda! So grateful to get to hear so many amazing women’s perspectives.

  • Shahirah

    This post made me feel so comforted – Am going through fertility check & tests too now.. And I totally agree on how talking about it helps. Sending you love and hugs and lotsa baby vibes!!!

    • Kelly

      Thank you, Shahirah! Sending you good, fertile vibes right back to you!

  • Pat Schwab

    Kelly, I’m sorry for all you have been going through (and Jeff). I’m sending hugs and prayers your way. Pat S

  • Fernanda

    good things happen to good people, so i’m pretty sure that things will work out for you, sending baby vibes your way!

  • Helena

    Long time reader but first time commenting! Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t think enough people talk about this. I worked in a fertility clinic for a few months and it was so eye opening. I’m also adopted and think adoption is as wonderful as having biological children. 🙂

    • Kelly

      I agree, Helena. I wish this topic was discussed more often. It is so much more common than everyone thinks! And I completely agree, adoption and biological children are both such wonderful things!

  • Jess

    Hi Kelly!

    Honestly, thank you so much for sharing your story. It really helps to know that there are other women out there who know exactly how I feel and to know I’m not alone. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years and have been working with a fertility specialist for just over a year now. The part where you discussed getting your hopes up high and dealing with the hardest “not pregnant” is something we went through this year when starting on Femara (which is similar to clomid). It was definitely a really hard few days knowing we weren’t pregnant after thinking “this is finally it! It has finally happened for us!”
    And the part about being so happy for friends being pregnant but also being sad for yourself is a feeling I’ve had as well, so thank you for pretty much assuring me that it is normal! The journey to get pregnant can be a lot of ups and downs but talking about it definitely helps.

    Again, thank you for being so open and honest. I’m sending all the positive vibes your way girl!

    • Kelly

      Oh Jess, I relate to that feeling so much. The ping-ponging of thinking “This is it!” and “No it’s not!” is so emotionally exhausting. And yes, you are totally normal! We’re all in this together (right!?) and I’m sending fertile ives right back at you girl!

  • Allison

    Hi Kelly –

    So sorry to see that you are having to journey through infertility. It can certainly be a daunting and overwhelming process. I wanted to let you know about an insurance product for infertility (which I started from the result of watching my brother and sister-in-law go through infertility). You can find more information here: http://www.vitalitysolutions.com. In reading your blog I don’t think you are at the IVF stage yet, or will even choose to go that route, but none the less we are here if you need us. Praying for peace and blessing over you and husband during this journey :-).

    • Kelly

      Thank you for sharing, Allison. How fascinating! I will definitely look into it, and thank you for your support!

  • ANON

    Kelly, I’ve been a fan of your blog for a while, visiting here and there when I’ve had spare time.
    However, when I came across this post, I had to stop and read it.
    My husband and I are 4 months into the IVF process, and our transfer date is right around the corner (2 weeks!)! I am not infertile, my husband had a vasectomy a long time ago, and the reversal didn’t work, so here we are.
    I just wanted to comment on the person who said it was selfish.
    With that, as much as I would LOVE to adopt a baby, my husband and I CANT adopt.
    Our personal situation doesn’t allow for it. (We are 20 years apart, and have only been married for a year, together for 5.) Sometimes, its out of our hands, and people don’t know the situation. I commend you for this post, and its nice to know there are others going through the same thing as I.
    I too used to think, why spend thousands when another kid not as fortunate needs a loving home, but to us, that wasn’t an option.
    Not everything goes as planned, and such is life.
    I’m keeping my fingers crossed we are only (1- rounders) and it works the first time!
    Sending baby vibes your way pretty lady!! Getting them back would be appreciated! Thanks again for the post!

  • Jess

    I’m such a big fan of yourself and Jeff and appreciate you sharing your story. We too are 1 year into trying to start a family and having just hit the one year mark, we are now headed to the IVF clinic this week to start the process of seeing what options are next for us.
    I never understood how loaded the “so when are you two going to have kids” was until I discovered its not that easy (despite the fact that I swear to god every woman I know is pregnant at the moment – none of them were when we started trying 🙁 ). Every person I ask how long it took them always seem to respond with “not long at all” which is starting to become a hard pill to swallow. Im always happy for my friends that have told me they are pregnant lately , but its hard not to be so deeply gutted also. I feel like they are insensitive, but I know thats just me being crazy emotional…but its hard despite knowing its not rational thought.

    And I totally agree that forums are the devil! Pretty sure I’ve been pregnant every month if the symptoms I read about were legit…but they never are…the two week wait is enough torture without making it worse by reading forums and convincing yourself you have to be pregnant because you got a twinge in your right breast for 2 seconds!!! Haha!

    Anyway, I am sending you and Jeff so much baby dust, and really appreciate you sharing your journey, as for the first time in my journey I don’t feel so alone in this. xxx

  • Andy

    Kelly, I’m so impressed by how positive you are about this. You are a true example for those who struggle with this too. A couple of years ago I went through almost the same, didn’t happened for me and I lost my marriage(unfortunately at that moment but luckily nowadays since I found the absolute perfect men)I tried and was told that I was simply “unable to concibe”. It haunted me for years and I devoted myself to my dog, until one day I got my miracle and right now I’m holding my two weeks old boy.

    You and Jeff are in my prayers(and my moms too) I’m happy for your baby Argo and hope that one day you guys can give him a brother or sister.

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