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We’re Adopting… Again!!

3/4/2019

We're adopting... again!!

Well, I guess it’s time to make it officially official. We’ve started the adoption process again!! We are officially ready to grow our family and despite a whole lot of questions about what that will look like, we cannot WAIT to see what the future holds!!!! Since I know we’ve been hinting at this for months and months and talking openly about our desire for more kiddos, I thought I’d answer some of the most common questions I’ve gotten about what will be our second adoption journey!

We're adopting... again!!

Are you using the same adoption process/team that you used the first time?

Yes, we had such a wonderful experience last time that we are using the same exact attorney and home study agency. You can read all about our last adoption process in the posts linked here!

When did you start the process? Where are you at now?

Well…. we sent the first email to our lawyer saying we were ready on September 22nd, 2018! We had initially said we’d start the process last summer and then pushed it to the fall because Arlo still felt so young to us.

However, we pumped the brakes a bit after we ended up diving in to some heavy home renovations unexpectedly. Since we had already completed a full home study for our first adoption, this time around we just have to do an “update.” What that means is that we only have one visit with a social worker (instead of two) and that all safety measures have to be done before that visit, since it’s a one-and-done kind of thing.

Something we hadn’t previously thought about was the giant non-functioning hot tub in our backyard. (We weren’t living here when we did our home study last time!) With our home study agency, if you have any pool, hot tub or other body of water (even an empty one) you have to make sure it is secured with a lock and you have to take a water safety course. The way our hot tub was constructed, it would have cost a lot of money to buy a new cover, drill into stone to secure it and extra time to take the water safety class… all when we were hoping to pull it out of the ground just a few months later.

So between that, our unexpected kitchen renovation happening, and all the changes to the business, we decided to wait until the spring to complete the home study. Our lawyer has still been presenting us to expectant moms, just in case the perfect match came along, but we told her we were in no rush and so far we have not been matched.

We have our in-person meeting later this month and after that we will really get the ball rolling on outreach on our own!

We're adopting... again!!

Is the adoption process easier or harder the second time around?

It’s SO much easier since we already know exactly what to expect! Every social worker is different, so we’re learning that we have to make a lot of different updates than our first social worker asked for but overall, the process has felt so much less stressful. There’s less paperwork, less visits and less stress since we are already parents and just feel so lucky to be able to pursue adoption again.

Are you race specific?

Yes. We’ve learned SO much, and still have so much to learn, about transracial adoption since adopting Arlo. One of those lessons being the importance of having a “mirror” in the home for your child if you and your child are not of the same race. With all the research we’ve done and adoptees we’ve listened to, this has become a non-negotiable factor and number one priority for our family. We’ll be proceeding with that in mind throughout this next adoption process!

Are you gender specific?

We’re still kind of undecided here! On one hand, we’d love for Arlo to have a brother close in age. On the other hand, we’d love to have a daughter. But on the third (proverbial) hand, I remind myself that I don’t treat Arlo like a boy. I treat him like an Arlo. So we’re just treating each situation we’re presented with on an individual basis and making the best decision for our family when the time comes!

We're adopting... again!!

How long will it take?

We don’t know! Since we are now more race-specific, it definitely has the potential to take longer. As our team told us from the beginning, the more parameters you have, the longer the process will take. We’ve definitely said no to being presented to more situations this time around than we did last time. But then again, just the other day we got a call about a baby that was already born (It didn’t end up being a match for us) so you never know!

Will this adoption be open as well?

We really hope to have an open adoption again as we’ve seen the benefits of having open communication with Arlo’s birth family. That said, while we’ll do our best to establish a similar relationship, nobody can know for sure what the future will bring.

We're Adopting Again!

Will you tell us when you’re matched?

Nope. =) After we were matched with Arlo, we really enjoyed having those few short weeks to ourselves to soak in the news and prepare our home for a new addition. So we’re planning to do the same again. It’s one of the few moments in life that we get to keep just for us. So similar to Arlo, you’ll get to meet the newest member of our family once he or she has arrived!

Will you take a maternity leave?

I always regretted not taking more time off after we adopted Arlo, so my goal this spring is to prepare as many blog posts as possible to have in my back pocket for whenever the time comes. It’s tough when you have no idea if that day will be tomorrow or a year from now, but I’m hoping to be even more prepared than I was last time so we can soak in every moment and adjust to a life with two little ones!

We're adopting... again!!

Photos by Jeff Mindell

Look at that proud future big brother up there!! I’ll definitely be sharing a few baby related posts over the next few months (nursery, baby names, gear we’ll be using again!) so keep an eye out for that. But feel free to leave any other questions you have below. =)

We’re beyond excited to see where this second adoption journey takes our family and as always, incredibly grateful for your support!!!

21 comments

  • Kaitlin Kirchner

    So happy for your beautiful little family! Cannot wait to meet the newest mini Mindell! <3

  • Trish Whitmore

    How exciting for all! Congrats!!

  • Mia

    so so happy for you all! congrats🎉❤️

  • Marie

    So happy for you congrats! Do you mind sharing who your adoption Lawyer and home study agency is that you use and recommend?

  • Susan

    So very happy for you all! When I first saw the post on Instagram, I thought you were announcing a “Minnie Mindell”, but then I quickly realized you meant “mini” as the hat actually says. 🙈 But that would be so cute, no??? I forget if you’re like me and don’t like a name after it’s someone else’s thought, though. Lol. Prayers for a smooth and beautiful adoption process. I know we will all be oohing and ahhing over whomever the newest Mindell is! My thoughts on gender are this: kids come however they come, in “regular” pregnancy situations, you just find out what the gender of the baby is around 20 weeks. There’s no real choosing going on. I always think that whatever gender pops up is simply the plan for our family. If baby is the correct mirror match, jump! That being said, I had a boy first, then really, really, really wanted a little brother for him – about six years later, we had our second baby, a boy! Then, as much as I really, really loved being a “boy mom”, I really wanted to have a little girl. She arrived two years after her brother. Altogether we have been blessed with four boys and three girls. I love our wild bunch of completely different personalities. 🤱🏻 I hope that you enjoy these upcoming days of preparation and anticipation! Sending love!!! With all of the lice you show to Arlo, I just know that he will make a wonderful big brother! Someday he will be the eldest brother of the bunch! A big job!

  • Loren

    So excited for all of you!! Can’t wait for more baby names!!

  • Leslie

    Seriously, best news I’ve heard all day! Hope that this season in your families life is filled with joy!

  • Lexi

    Goodness, how exciting! So happy for your sweet family!

  • Mia S

    I had a super strong feeling that’s what this post was going to be but I am still SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR Y’ALL! I can’t wait to meet the newest Mindell! (Fingers crossed for a girl because I can’t even handle Arlo’s outfits and would be super excited to see modifications for a girl too! Plus you could obviously just pass down a bunch of the stuff anyway!)

  • Jess

    Yay! I’m so excited for you! We have a girl and a boy, I like to think I treat them as individuals, so if our son wants a pink unicorn toy like his sister, that’s great! And if she wants a dragon Valentine box, my only question is what color and is it sparkly. You two will continue to be awesome girl or boy. xo

  • Lauren

    Congratulations! I’ll be keeping all of my fingers and toes crossed for you!

  • Jodi

    Congratulations! I am so happy and excited for you. And Arlo already looks like such a proud big brother. Yay!!

  • Kristina B

    How will you prep Arlo for the new addition? He’s still so little so like, what’s the best way to communicate what’s happening?

  • Stephanie

    Have you started the nursery (sneak peak olease!!!) and have you guys started thinking names? I’m so excited!

  • Monique | Little Miss Mon Bon

    Awwwww congratulations guys, this is such great news! Arlo will make the cutest little brother <3

    xx
    Mon
    Little Miss Mon Bon

  • Elisa

    Hi ! I was wondering if Arlo knew that he will become big brother in the near future, did you already tell him that you’re gonna adopt again soon ? If so, what is his reaction? Do you think he understand, does he talk about it? Thank you !

  • Hannah

    I LOVE how you wrote, “I don’t treat Arlo like a boy. I treat him like an Arlo.” That’s how I’m parenting my son, too!

    I had the best nurse ever when I was pregnant. I asked her at one appointment if we were going to find out the baby’s gender, and she gently corrected me and said, “You’ll find out the baby’s sex today, but you won’t find out the gender until he or she tells you what it is.” She’s totally right! 🙂 It was a great reminder for my wife and me to trust, believe, and support our child.

    Anyway congratulations!!! I’m so excited for your family.

  • Kaitlyn

    How exciting! I would love to adopt (just lost a baby, and currently going through some pre-ivf fertility treatments to try and conceive again) and I know that there are so many beautiful children in this world who need homes – but it’s just almost impossible here where I live (I live in Tasmania, Australia) local (domestic) adoptions are almost unheard of, and international adoptions are very difficult and not something I necessarily feel comfortable with. Really wish I had a beautiful opportunity such as you do! But so excited for you all all the way from little old Tas 🙂

  • Scarlet

    How super duper exciting. Sounds like it will be a lucky kid! I think adopting is such a blessing for both parties and I am so happy for you already! I look forward to more updates as your journey unfolds.

  • Katterfox

    “… I remind myself that I don’t treat Arlo like a boy. I treat him like an Arlo.”

    This is beautiful.

  • usps tracking

    How exciting for all! Congrats!!

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